Today is my solar return, bEarthday... my birthday! In the days leading up to my 20th birthday, I reflected on what "20" means. It marks two decades on Earth and the end of my teenhood. In America, we don't have a (standardized) rite of passage or anything commemorating the transition out of teen years and into whatever "20" symbolizes.
In numerology, 2 speaks to polarities and dualities. It is flexible and stagnant, divinely masculine and divinely feminine. It represents pursuing a life mission or purpose. It's a big deal.
The years seem to be speeding up. Sometimes I find myself still saying that I'm 18 years old. I realized that before I lose myself in "20," I should reflect on what the years before have given me.
These are 20 things I did before 20.
- Moved away to college.
- Finally found a hairstyle that worked for me!
- Moved into my first apartment.
- Fell in love.
- Finished a journal. Every. Single. Page.
- Learned to cornrow my hair.
- Earned straight A's!
- Speaking of straight... came out as... not that. Came out as queer!
- Went to my first Pride parade.
- Voted in a national election.
- Got two tattoos.
- Learned that I really enjoy wine.
- Published and sold my poetry.
- Created my own natural skincare recipes.
- Learned to cook.
- Made a song.
- Got my first paying job.
- Spent the summer as a camp counselor.
- Had a Thanksgiving dinner with my best friends.
- Learned to love Shelby Alice Wong Moring and promised to never stop getting to know her.
Every year brought me abundance and loss. I experienced progression and regression. I welcomed new relationships and said goodbye to old ones. I've seen dualities with every year I've been alive. 20 will be no different, but I'm now conscious enough to understand that these dualities are beautiful. They're painful and confusing and mess with your plans, but they're necessary for growth and I wouldn't want it any other way.
Here's to 20!