This post is brought to you by my stream of consciousness while I deep condition my hair. Before I get into the details, I'll share a bit about my deep conditioning process. I try to deep condition once a week because my hair gets very dry and the curls lose their definition easily. I alternate between three kinds of deep conditioners, but they're always the HASK brand that you can buy at drug or beauty supply stores.
Deep conditioning is a very ritualistic practice for me. I usually do this hair routine when I'm at home; I've only left the house a couple times while my hair was deep conditioning. After I shampoo, I'll finger comb the deep conditioner into my hair and wrap it up with a microfiber towel. If I leave it in for an hour, I'll spend my time writing, doing card readings, cleaning up, or making food for myself. Sometimes I leave it in overnight and wash it out in the morning. It's ultimately an extremely grounding, intimate and productive experience for me because I feel most like myself.
As a mixed Black woman, the politics of Black hair is something that I was not very aware of growing up. I had my own hair struggles, like not being able to find products that catered to my loose curls and thin hair, but I didn't think of it as something that mixed or Black girls go through. Now, I'm becoming more aware of how caring for hair, specifically for Black women, is a deeply ritualistic, personal, and celebratory experience. There is joy and pain, love and frustration, appreciation and sometimes a lack of gratitude in caring for our hair. And I love every minute of the journey.
The idea that my current lifetime is just a chapter in my entire journey is so comforting, fascinating, intimidating, and exhilarating for me. There is more to living than our boundedness to the third dimension. What I mean by that is simply that we cannot spend our lifetimes only worrying about what happens on the physical plane. Of course, abandoning our concern for things like finances and food will not sustain our physical bodies. But what happens when we release our attachments to the physical, material, and what we can see? What happens when we are introspective and seek happiness in ourselves, instead of other people and inanimate things? Incredible change begins with ourselves, which can then impact the entire gravitational field of the Earth. But that's another conversation.
I think about what would happen if I stopped giving into my servitude to material happiness and conventional ideas of success. Would I disappoint my family if I left the country to find a mostly nature-based, non-capitalistic community? What would happen if I stopped doubting myself and fearing what could happen if something went "wrong?" What if I reshaped my idea of what "wrong" looks like and instead accepted that there is a path I'm meant to be on, if I accepted the unexpected changes in my life as a learning experience. What would my life look like if I released fear and truly worked on myself?
There's a lot on my mind because I'm exposing myself to so many new kinds of material every day. This summer has been a chapter of immense and rapid growth; I've buried my nose in so many books and websites, asked so many questions to so many different healers, and did more personal work than I thought was possible at once. I've released relationships that held me back or caused me anxieties, I've welcomed self-reliance and individuality. I've both consciously and unconsciously questioned everything I thought I knew and received both troubling and affirming responses from the Universe. I'm undergoing all of this change and while it's sometimes overwhelming, it's more often exciting and reassuring. I am exactly where I need to be because my intentions and actions are aligned.
The nature of this blog is shifting as I begin to speak more about spirituality than skincare alone. FloreaShelby serves as a reminder that I can do anything I put my mind to; it is the manifestation of my intentions and deepest desires to write, write, write. I've always wanted to impact peoples' lives in a way that would stimulate their own growth and this blog continues to serve those needs. Thank you for continuing to support me and all my endeavors. Until next time, peace and love!